Let’s talk about kindness. And no, not the cutesy, rainbow-laden, “sprinkle that stuff everywhere like confetti” kind of kindness. I mean real, intentional, everyday kindness—the kind that requires effort, self-awareness, and sometimes, biting your tongue so hard you taste a little blood.

Because, my friends, we are in a kindness drought. A full-blown, barren, cracked-earth, tumbleweeds-rolling-through-the-desert kind of drought.

What we are not lacking? Intolerance, black-and-white thinking, impatience, judgment, and all the “-isms” that make humanity a truly exhausting experience at times. Racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism—oh look, they’re all out there waving their little flags, demanding attention like the world’s worst parade.

And sure, it would be so easy to say, “Well, obviously, this is all the fault of our current administration” But deep down, we know that’s only part of the problem.

Yes, leadership sets a tone.

Yes, when powerful people normalize cruelty, it trickles down like poison into the groundwater of society. But the truth is, we—every single one of us—are responsible for how we show up in the world.

And honestly? We are failing at kindness.

Smart People Can Be Mean Too

I have brilliant, educated, empathetic, socially-conscious friends who, right now, are absolute goblins.

They’re bitter, they’re exhausted, they’re lashing out at anyone and everyone. And they justify it:

• “I’m just SO angry about what’s happening.”

• “I can’t deal with people who think that way.”

• “I’m too stressed to be nice.”

Listen, I get it. I.GET.IT.

The world is an absolute dumpster inferno, and we are all trying to navigate the emotional shrapnel flying in every direction.

But being stressed, scared, or enraged does not give any of us a free pass to abandon decency.

You can be deeply upset about the state of the world and still be kind. These two things are not mutually exclusive.

You Are Responsible For Your Words

Here’s a thought: what if we actually took responsibility for how we treat people? Radical, I know.

Lately, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: if someone expresses that they were hurt by something we said, the default response isn’t an apology—it’s defensiveness. Or worse, complete dismissal.

• “That’s on you.”

• “You do you, boo.”

• “I was just being honest.”

• “Maybe don’t be so sensitive.”

This? This is garbage behavior. If someone tells me I hurt them, my response will always be:

• “Tell me more.”

• “I’m so sorry.”

• “What could I have said differently?”

• “I never meant to hurt you.”

Because that’s how kindness works. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about caring when we mess up. It’s about valuing our relationships more than we value being “right.”

The Cost of Protecting Your Peace

I’ve had to make peace with the fact that some of my friendships are changing. And honestly? That hurts. Because I love my people. I cherish them. But I also refuse to live in a constant state of rage and despair and uncertainty.

I can’t doomscroll all day. I can’t be submerged in negativity 24/7. My mental health matters, too.

And that should be okay.

So, if you are someone who feels like kindness is dead, like basic respect is a relic of the past, like this world is just too cruel to bear—please, PLEASE be the person who proves otherwise.

Be kind. Even when it’s hard. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when the other person doesn’t “deserve” it.

Because the world doesn’t change because of outrage alone. It changes when we choose, moment by moment, to be better than the worst of what we see around us.

So let’s be better. Let’s be kinder. Let’s bring a little damn civility back.

Before the tumbleweeds take over completely.